No need to apologize - I like the way you've written your comments. I mean, the way you describe your personal point of view, and the background of your situation. For me, it is a bit like receiving a postcard, getting to hear a glimpse of other kind of life. Hearing stories I wouldn't otherwise hear. And I believe your comments enrich the reading experience of possible other readers, too. Instead of just my own point of view, people get to read another perspectives too. Nothing wrong with that, I'd guess =)

I think people in your kind of situation often use humour, music and group spirit to cope with the unpleasant aspects of duty. But the way you describe it, sounds like most of your fellows have already turned into unfunny zombies, and there isn't that much healthy laughter and good spirited humour around... So, turning totally to the other direction, it suddenly came to my mind that there is this Finnish song. The lyrics are taken directly from a war-time letter of a Finnish WWII soldier fighting at the front line. And since he doesn't have anyone back at home, he writes to an unknown woman, wishing to make a pen-pal, as he thinks some humane communication would help to cope with the horrors of the war... Sure, the song isn't particularly happy one, but maybe you can try listen to it - maybe it sparks some ideas or in some other indirect way helps you to find your own ways to cope with your situation.